Four Types of (Un)employed College Grads

By Hannah Helpio on June 15, 2012

 

Graduation’s here. And directly following graduation, of course, is the terrible, horrible, hope-crushing, post-grad job hunt. With recent graduate unemployment right around 50%, that’s a daunting prospect. Against all odds, my graduating roommate found a job immediately following the end of her undergrad career this week, but it is fairly clear to the rest of grads not moving off to law school or grad school that jobs are few and far between. As much as I would like to believe I’ll be shifting seamlessly into a 9-5 job after graduation next year, realistically, I should be expecting a few hiccups. For the recent grads, though, I’ve compiled a list of a few potential outcomes for prospective employment.

 

The Starbucks Manager – First, there is nothing wrong with being a Starbucks manager – whatever pays the bills (and student loans) is perfectly acceptable and it’s a relief to be able to maintain your financial independence. Everyone loves Starbucks. But after a while, your parents and relatives begin to nag and wonder and ask, when are you going to get a real job? While wondering what the use of an expensive degree was anyway if you’re going to be a professional barista. Hanging around at Starbucks for a few years isn’t too bad, as long as you’re able to fend off some inevitable work-related existential and spiritual crises.

The Slacker-Turned-Millionaire – As much as I would like to believe that meritocracy is totally reasonable and always practiced by your future employers, it seems that isn’t always the case. Some individuals, for whatever reason, skate, drink, and party their way through undergrad, and as much as you might mutter to yourself furiously about hard work and recognition while typing notes for your midterm, still manage to score some enviably lucrative position right out of college. Through sheer luck, networking skills, or parents’ connections, the Slacker-Turned-Millionaire will probably come rolling up to the 20 year reunion in an ostentatiously  red BMW and still draw your ire.

The Statistic – Welcome to the unemployment party! Moving back in with Mom and Dad can’t be that bad…

 The Success Story – On the bright side, this still means half of recent grads did find a job. It’s not necessarily in the field of your degree, or the most interesting job in the world, but, at this point, it’s reason for celebration all the same.

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